p.s.

who are the people who are able to recover their children? We've been down this road for three years and I feel like I'm staring right back at where we started...

Tired tired tired ...

Its a rainy Sunday in February. When it rains all day, we're trapped indoors with the kids. Lucas just wants to watch video after video after video. I feel so guilty letting him but he's in the middle of a major regression - having just overcome pnuemonia for a week and been on antibiotics. I swear he probably watched seven hours of television. I wish I could say that at least the videos were novel - they weren't. Its scary what he's like right now. We've been in much better places - after this last round of antibiotic, he's in his own world, flapping his hands, tensing them, visual stimming. He's had tantrum and meltdowns about everything. The rain - will it make his hat wet?, why did I go get the car to pick him up? I stopped the video during the credits and before it had finished running?